Smiling

Just smile. It's a natural medicine.

 

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Valentines day.

Here with a warm blanket, too much homework and being in love with my non existent boyfriend.

 

Don't judge. Happy valentines.

 

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Poems!

I'm going to start writing some poems on here, so if you have a certain topic, let me know!

Here is one about the cruelty of the world.

 

 

A sole moment sparks the breaking point.

A time that defeats the redundant holding strong.

A used to the alone impression figure

Finally has had it for just to long.

To their safe place they run

Showing no emotion as they let people pass.

Feeling cripples the heart

And shattering like thin glass.

Anxiety rips through the vein

And reality crashes back

There's just too much pain

And joy that they lack

And even though they fake a smile

A depression case they're about to file

Time and time goes by

I think it's about time to die.

A bottle of pills; an easy escape

All conglomerated into an amorphous shape.

Think your fine until you've heard

That last night she finished her painful last word.

.

 

-Brianna

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Pretty people.

A pretty person is not based off looks, but rather the quality of their character.

 

They spend time beautifying their face, but not their heart.

 

Go for the good girls.

 

In my opinion pretty people are the genuine, and kind people.

Not the attractive jerks.

 

Just saying.

 

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Being Adopted.

"Yeah, I am adopted."

"Really?"

"Yeah, i am."

"Oh, I'm sorry"

This is a conversation that usually occurs when i tell people I am adopted. Why? I don't know... It's not like I am some sort of diseased Freak..

I guess when people hear that someone is adopted, they honestly think that there is some sad sob story to go with it. Some "My parents didn't want me, and they both died, so I was given to an Orphanage, and then some people adopted me." Honestly, that is not Always the case.  Maybe the parents knew that the child would just be better off in a home with two parents, and with a family that could afford the baby.

My story. 

Once upon a time...

There were two people in love, and they got married.

They were sad when they found out they were not able to have children.

So they decided after much prayer and fasting, that they would adopt.
They spent a long time waiting for the right child, and it came to pass.

Then, they waited and after many adoptions falling through, and four years of looking for the right baby, 

They Found Me.

Vs.

Once upon a time.

She was unhappy, and was getting divorced

She had a baby inside her tummy though,

But she knew she couldn't keep it.

She decided to give the baby up for adoption. 

To find her a better home,

A better family.

A Better Life.

No Orphanage No parents dying. No sob story. Its good. My parents have always told us that we were adopted, I don't know why some won't tell their children they are adopted. I think it is actually kind of rude. Adoption is not a touchy subject for me. Ask me anything, and i will gladly tell you. I don't take offense. But because i am adopted i am very opinionated on Abortion. If my Birthmother had chosen abortion, I wouldn't be here today. You wouldn't even know me. I would be who knows where. I've always had many questions about this whole topic. It is so horrible. We did a survey in 8th grade, and knowing that most people didn't really understand abortion, the majority said they thought it was fine.

Really? Yes, it might get you out of PUBLIC HUMIlATION and JUDGING. Get you out of 9 Months of carrying around a baby, and having to birth, and care for the baby, or having to sign a couple papers to have a family adopt your baby. But now think of it from my point of view

Abortion is Killing. Taking a baby's life. Ever heard of someone killing their baby? Its "Unthinkable."
But guess what, abortion is the same. Some may say that it isn't a person yet, but if it is able to kick, and eat, and consume and grow, it is most surely alive. Pretend you are adopted, now imagine if your birthmother had decided abortion. You wouldn't be here on this earth. You wouldn't even really exist here. You would be in heaven, who knows if you were too good to be tested, or if you are born to someone else i don't know. I would like to think you are too good to be tested, but then i remember that everyone has their agency and God cannot make you choose abortion because "Oh, he can not be born, he is too perfect to be tested" I don't seem to swing that way. But, then they shouldn't be punished for rash decisions, I'm sure its one of those gospel questions to severely uncomprehensible that we just don't have the capacity to understand right now. When Society actually thinks that abortion is "Normal, Alright, common, non damaging" That just breaks my heart, Even when you make a mistake like that, do you kill it? No. It was not their fault. I loosely believe that everyone is sent to earth for a reason. You know, maybe i'd like to think that they were too perfect, so they agreed to be sent to earth to test the mother facing that struggle.

The rest of my family, has either met with the birthparents or had pictures of them, or have even seen them born, or gotten special collections like coin collections. What did my birthmom leave? Some Medical background information, an Ultrasound, accidentally her name. I wasn't even supposed to have her name. they accidentally forgot to take off the stickynote that said her name.

What i found? I am nothing like my birthmom, She was this medium height small boned girl, green eyes, light brown hair. She liked Health, and social subjects, her grades were mostly B's and C's and she was never really good at school. I think she had astigmatism too. Then there is me, who gets straight A's, who just is purely good at schooling, and who is nothing like her, except i have a little bit of green in my eyes, and i have brown hair. 

I learned that my birth uncle is colorblind. Is colorblindness hereditary? Could it really go that far? Well that is how I am colorblind. 

I learned i have an either ADD or ADHD positive Birth brother. Weird Right? 

My birthmother was part of a waterbottling company? Okay.

I have birth grandparents that both lived to 62 then died. Okay. 

Another set of grandparents both lived to 92. Alright.

And whenever i sometimes feel left out for being adopted, i just remember that Jesus was adopted. Beat that.

But, when I turn twenty-one I get to turn in these papers, that pretty much if my birthmother turns in a request form to meet me, We will be able to meet.

Until then,

Birthmother

You will remain a mystery.