Are we really as good of friends as we think?

I could cry and scream and rip apart my room but I just have no words no energy and no way to know if that will take away my anger. 

Amigos Amigas And the struggle to open fridges

Friends are awesome and great and stressful and awesome and nice and fun and stressful. I hope you were excited to hear about me having a hard time opening a fridge, because i lied about that part.

Truth is, Last year i was bullied. Bullied badly. And the worst part, was that i thought they were my best friends. Think of your best friends, then imagine how it would be to have them bully you

E v e r y
S t i n k i n g
D a y.

It was awful, and hard and complete Hell.
 I am pretty sure that I spent more hours solo and silent/ Crying than i did sleeping.. Not that i slept that much but the fact was : it was dumb.

"These years were marked by feeling weak and helpless. They were marked by having no response – other than fear and sorrow – to the cruelty of bullying." -Marcos Breton

 The quote by Marcos Breton pretty much sums up last year. It went on for months them making jokes right in front of my face about my appearance. They even told olivia if i were to "Just work on it" That i would be skinny enough for them. I was mortified. To this day they wont see me eat because i think i have PTSD. They made me more self conscious than i have ever been in my entire life. 

It started out with me and olivia and the two "Friends." 
We spent hours and hours together having a blast and exploring our new found freedom with drivers licenses. We would talk and laugh and go places, and little by little they would say things that were unthought. They'd say it and sometimes even stop half way through and just not finish, but everyone knew what they meant. But these were my best friends and maybe it was just their personality right? 
It didn't help that they both (AT THE SAME TIME) had a crush on olivia. They used me for olivia. I was friends with them before she was, and therefore they could use me to get to her. They left me in the ghettos of provo, and said rude jokes, they even made up an acronym about my looks and would say it every time i said anything. They pulled at my nerves, and my emotions, they damaged my self esteem, they ripped my heart, but they were my best friends so they were just telling the truth right? They were awful and relentless, and would never apologize, but they were my best friends so they were just helping me out right? It got to the point my parents knew about it and They begged me to let them talk to their parents, but i knew it would break the friendship. The two boys that bullied me also flipped it around and made everything my fault. Well its my fault i am the way i am, or its my fault this, its my fault that. They didn't even apologize, but i forgave them .... Or kind of forgave them anyway, and we went on with our lives. After the summer, and las vegas, i turned a switch. I realized that these boys were wreaking havoc on my life and i was stressed beyond belief. 

     After the summer i ditched them and started to be better friends with coleman.  
It was weird.
Not being friends with him, no that was awesome
It was weird how he was so nice. I actually didn't know what a real friend was until then. It felt so natural that we were just nice to each other and it was amazing. 

This year ive made friends with Jeffrey and reuinited with channing. It is so nice that me coleman jeffrey and channing are all friends, however I want to be friends with them and syd and olivia but sometimes its hard to make time for everyone its a stress..... Point it this year is a lot better than last year and i am glad :)

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/news-columns-blogs/marcos-breton/article4474867.html#storylink=cpy

I may be completely and utterly bored right now.

I'm here sitting at the cascade carnival attempting to read my book that is due tomorrow but in reality just people watching. Truth is, it's fun and I enjoy it. 

And watching ladies who are pregnant (again) waddle across the grass. 

And can I get a pair of these pants please? (... Do they come with a standing kid too?) 

...:)

The lovely memories this brings back. 

Prom!

It was prom on Saturday and although I might have been able to go, (I'm finally old enough) I didn't really want to. I've been stressed out, the play just ended and I've had a lot on my mind. Finding a perfect dress and prep work, plus helping out my other friends just didn't seem to flow into my thoughts so I just left it out. Although I didn't go to prom myself, I had a good time helping my friend Olivia. The week before prom we tried every hairstyle that used curls. Up, down, side, you name it. 

We found one we liked (refer to picture number one) and we would just jazz it up a little bit. 

Well Friday she came over and I was going to paint her nails a light pink, but when we got downstairs my acrylics just begged me to use them. I told her it's take a while to do but she was just fine with it. It took me two and a half hours start to finish but they looked dang good for only my second set. 

Safe to say, I was stoked about them. Well Saturday came and went and I fixed up her hair. Here's how I did it: 

First, I took the bottom half and curled it. 

After curling the entire thing, I had her stand up and shake it out so it would be a little bit more loose, spraying hairspray before and after. Next, I took pieces from the left side and twisted them and pinned them into place towards the right side of her head, because we were going for the one side look. 

After, we pulled the rest of her hair over her shoulder and I took three braids braided from the front and pinned them over the pins from the twists. 

Finally we added the twist flowers and the two back gem barrettes  to create the look. 

I was very happy how it turned out! She looked gorgeous and of course I finished off with some hairspray to keep it from falling out and some olive oil spray to keep the curls from getting too frizzy. 

Next, I did her makeup. She came with her natural everyday look, and I fixed her up with a smokey eye that consisted of browns and navy blue. I payed particular attention to the outer eye for any blue and the rest I used browns. I also attached false lashes and wing tipped her eyeliner. 

We used a red lip stain and a bright pink to finish her lips. 

We were quite pleased with the results. She had a great time and looked awesome with her date Liam! It was a great time being her beauty/prep team!:) props to her mom for making her dress too! 

Dont ignore me.

Be a good friend to everyone. Even the people who don't deserve it. Everyone has struggles that we go through. Friends are there to listen to all of your worries and all of your crap and still stick around because they love you for who you are. 

And that is what they told you isn't it? 

That "A true friend is there for you no matter what."

I'm sorry, but they lied. 

Someday, when you think everything is just dandy and fine, they'll take off without you. Leaving you

Clueless, 

and wondering what you did. 

They will talk about you 

and make snide remarks

Because,

they

can. 

And they will walk the same way as you, knowing something

that you

don't. 

And one day, you'll start to care. Because after all they still are your friend. 

Even if you aren't theirs. And you will want to know why, But they wont tell you.

I'm sorry. 

Ps, Cat adoptions are on wednesdays and tissues are cheap. 

Efy Part 2

Pictures pictures pictures. Here they are.

Here is my whole company.

 

At a devotional and Addie's pretty hair. Haha(:

Kali, chan, savannah and of course Arielle not knowing what's going on.

 

Victoria pulling her model pose for me.

Jenica and Claire. Buddy's forever.

 

Chandler and Ashtyn.. Lovebirds. Also hilarious and obsessed with the word satan.

 

JC was one of the coolest kids, he was hilarious. And pulling a face.

Addie, and Jackson. They were studs.

Here is me with the guy counselor Jordan. He had sweet moves.

 

Bless her should here is my counselor. I loved Arielle so much she was amazing.

Me and Mary. one of my counselors

Sorry for the crappy pictures. My iPod got ran over and has never fully recovered. Here is a movement we started, HSM jumping pics.

 

Here is Mary, Paris, and shaylan during a model sesh. Love these girls!

 

Here are the boys... Chandler is being himself and half of the, don't know what's going on..

 

Our Group of girls minus 4.. I don't know where they are.

Well there's a lot of them. Not even all. Enjoy.!

 

Posted with Blogsy

EFY : Part 1

I apologize, this is going to be a long post and this is only part one. Part two will be all pictures.

I went to efy last week and it was amazing. I'm always so excited, but so nervous for efy. Who are you going to sit by the first day? Who is going to be in your company? Who is going to room with you? Where will you be staying? where will you hide at the dance? All those questions went through my head as I waited in line for check in Monday. I got all checked in and even got to stay in hog warts, yeah be jealous. Abby, Addie, Jenica and Claire were my dorm mates, and Arielle was my counselor. Efy was a great experience and for the first time I really had a love for the scriptures. I always knew there were good, but I just thout they were boring. I didn't understand them, they didn't make any sense and I just thought it more of a chore, but I really grew to love them and I've been reading faithfully ever sense.

Monday was check in and that was long. Then I met up with Channing who was rooming with me. We walked around a bit and then came back to meet with my group of girls. The group was a little intimidating at first because everyone was just so pretty and they all seemed too cool for me. But I had a good time and got to meet them all and become close. The girls who I got to know best were Addie and Abby. They were really nice and just really good people. W then met the rest of the company and one of my friends from last year Bennett was there. It was fun to have him in the company again. We named our company yopo, which stood for " ye only prepare once" it was fun. Then we got to have orientation and we had family home evening games and a lesson with our session directors the kerby's.

Tuesday. Hmm. Tuesday we went to LOTS of classes, but I'm glad because they were really good. One I liked was by sister 'B' who talked about feeling the impressions of the spirit. I enjoyed it a lot. We had about 5 classes, then we had a dance that night. I had really a scary image of dances because the ones last year were crowded, hot and not fun at all. I didn't want to go and I was so scared for it. When I realized it was outside I sighed because I knew I couldn't hide in the bathrooms. I just decided to have fun and I danced my heart out. ...until the slow songs. There were about six of those. Every time the end of a song came I would cringe hoping the next beats to come from those speakers werent slow.. But I made myself man up and I danced with two people. One was from Alaska and one just talked about football so much I wanted to ask if he ate them too. But it wasn't too bad. After the dance I was excited to go back and sleep. When it was lights out, I admit I was excited.

Wednesday. On Wednesday we had a couple more classes and I learned we need to live life in a crescendo. Wednesday went by pretty quickly and soon it was games night. Me Abby, chandler and Hannah were on the art committee for the flag, we designed it to look like people were making the letters "#yopo" with their hands and arms. Abby is an amazing artist and it was amazing. We won. Our skit was also us trying to prepare for a skit " judges, we only prepared this once.." Was what we said. It was pretty funny. After, we ordered pizza and watched funny youtube videos. They were hilarious. After, lights out was pretty fast.

Thursday was a special day. Every morning after breakfast we read our scriptures. Because we had set a goal to (all together) read the entire Book of Mormon, I had assigned pages to read. We finished off those and that was a great start to the day. We had a young women's and young men's activity then a little devotional on the intro pages to the Book of Mormon. Then, after we had a game show... Not really sure how that made its way to the spiritual day, but it did and it was fun. We ended with a testimony meeting that inspired my Facebook post " I love my church because it has hope for everyone no matter what circumstance they are in " or whatever it was. It was really spiritual and we were all crying.

Friday was a good day. We all just hung out and we had a great time. We had a variety show and lots were really cool. My friends sang in it too. It was just good. Then we had a dance. I was not feeling well because I'm lactose intolerant and I just was not feeling well with milk. I do have fun at the dance but my stomach hurt so much I had to sit for a while. Thank goodness Bennett didn't let me sit for too long. I would've missed out. I also got to see bond, my counselor from last year. It was really good to see him and it reminded me of how much I miss him. Friday night me and the girls stayed up and talked about lots of things, boys, phones, people, it was good. I'll miss them.

Saturday we checked out and it was really sad to leave everyone. But It was such a wonderful experience. I glad I got to go and I highly recommend it. Save up for next year. It's amazing.

 

- Brianna

Posted with Blogsy